Shlonglor's War 2 Stories
The Peon Zoo

Last Updated 10/24/97

I logged onto Kali St. Louis #1, early, early one Saturday Morning looking for a game. Ran into Ploka, a really cool guy who had CREAMED me in a match a week or so before. (I ended up with only one island on spiral -shiver- , and fought a humorous, if pitiful defense against his mighty onslaught.)

A buddy of his showed up (I forget his name, uh, call him Ishmael :P ) and we agreed to a three way ffa on Bridge to Bridge on Low.

 
Ploka - 	But I've beaten Copper before
Copper -	No you haven't
Ploka  -	Huh? . . . wait, aren't you the guy
Copper -	you KILLED me :)
Ploka  -	I played . . . . oh . . hehe
Ishmael - 	You watch, we'll beat each other up, and Copper will win.

Ploka served, and got upper left corner. I was two islands below him at middle left, and Ishmael started in upper right. Ishmael and I both quaked in our boots in fear of Ploka. (And I stayed in my town, on the off chance these two buddies might decide to double team early.)

My plan was to go for sappers. (And I played humans, as the dwarves are more fun) Both Ploka and Ishmael were orcs, of course, on a land map. Ploka found me very early with a peon. (I'm still building barracks in the ffb) and I concentrated on getting up my walled in cannon tower. (I did chase his peon back to his town, and got a quick peek)

I upgraded to keep and expanded below me, with about nine level 5 footmen guarding my entrance defenses (now augmented with a guard tower.) (After finding Ploka and verifying nothing was beneath me with footmen, I drew all my ground troops back to town) I laid down 3 Gnomish inventors at the back of my town, and pumped 3 machines for my initial survey of the map. I parked a machine on Ploka's entrance facing me -2 barracks there pumping ogres, level 5 - and he's upgrading to Fortress - yikes.

I brought my first 3 dwarfs to his entrance, with my footmen escorting. Ogres surrounded his barracks, ugly, ugly, ugly, but wait, they all exit stage right -heading for Ishmael's flaming town (One of my flyers was now there)

My first wave of dwarves takes down his Nate formation, and OH BABY was he laid out for sappers. A solid wall of farms below his fortress, farms back-to-back all around his mound and fortress, two Temples going up a farm apart on the left edge, with a cannon tower walled in with a farm. No guard towers - no walls between farms = dwarven heaven.

I was going for farms at his fortress with my sappers, and suiciding waves of knights and footmen to his returning forces in his town. I never gained control of his town with ground troops, but kept his forces down enough that my sappers could run through unslowed. Ishmael, eliminated but for flyers, lustily cheered me on.

BOOM BOOM BOOM, 3 at a time is slow, but man, did it ever hurt my man Ploka. I took out his fortress, temples/farm/cannon tower, barracks when he got annoying - hitting an ogre beside them, too :)

He was busy rebuilding at his expansion to the right, when he must have realized no more hall upgrades, (hehe I love low!), and he rushed 6 peons into his main town and started throwing up the guard towers around his mound and Altar of Storms. (I know, I know, first priority after fortress, but he did a great job guarding them with new farms and his bloodlusted ogres) I let him waste his money on the upgrade, then 6 dwarves took those guard towers out, plus a poor clueless peon or two, just minding his own business, admiring his work.

Now unguarded, his mound, altar and remaining farms all quickly disappeared, and Ploka started hoarding his ogre-mages.

A bloodlusted grunt attack backed by bloodlusted dragons took down one of my expansions in the center, while my paladin army laid waste to his expansion in middle right. His annoying dragons chased my boys all the way back to my town, then flew away. I took the time to pump a flying machine for every mine, and put out a mage tower for polymorph.

I sappered his dragon roost, and then

 
Ishmael - 	Looks like someone is running short on farms
Ploka - 	Dammit, shut up!
 

Hehe! In addition to his new town, I started blowing Ploka's new, well-spaced farms one at a time. (He CAN be taught!)

Ploka has the audacity to send a few sappers at me, and I quickly turn my dwarven ire upon his infidel alchemist, and it goes ba-bye before he can even get a flyer. (As it turns out, he never built a zeppelin - since his early recon had located both enemies. Cocky, and flawed.)

He tries to expand again and again, but I spot every attempt, and a sortie of paladins takes each new expansion down, in the process charging through bloodlusted grunts to kill his remaining ogre-mages. The casualties are terrible, but, soon, sans bloodlust, he realizes that he cannot expand long-distance. (I make sure to heal my paladins as they take down the halls to rub it in.)

The two gold mines between us had been untapped to this point, and he tries to hold them with everything he's got left, including those dragons and as many grunts as he can build, while an amazing line of peons gets as much gold as he can. His dragons, sadly become mere mutton, as his valiant grunts cannot withstand my superior technology, and I assert control over those mines, building halls and towers over his peon's rotting bones.

The game enters the clean-up and discussion phase, and I spot a lone peon at the lower center mine - with a bundle of wood in his hand - Obviously an overlooked expansion attempt. I had two peasants standing there as well, (my own forgotten expansion.) Both of my peasants were in the red (damn dragons) and I knew I couldn't take him mano-a-mano. I quickly walled him in with a barracks above him and to the left. HOO-HAA, trapped him in a 4-square "T".

Ploka-	He's walling me in.
Copper-	Ishmael - at lower center.
Ploka-	It's the peon zoo!!!!
Ploka-	See the wild peon, brought here for your viewing pleasure
Ploka-	(paces peon back and forth, then starts whacking on barracks)
Copper-	Careful folks, he seems upset
Ishmael-Vicious little cur!
Copper-	We'll send in his trainer now (Repairs barracks and positions peons 
	to force training paladin to pop-out inside the walls)
Copper-	(Paladin pops out and WHACKS peon before I can grab him)
Ploka-	Oh No!
Copper-	Bad Trainer!!
Copper-	Looks like he only knows one trick . . . 
Copper-	PLAY DEAD!!!!!!!!
Copper-	BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ploka outmined me 270k to 200k, and Micro$oft'$ Window$ 95 GPF'ed me before I could get a shot of the stats, but this was an awesome game - Ploka is the most amusing War2 player I have met on Kali.

-Copper

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