We were allowed to build any buildings we want. As far as troops go, we can build peasants, flying machines, and demo teams. That's it. And we don't get to use our peasants aggressively (either attacking or building towers in the enemy camp). We can use our peasants to defend our base, however.

So, we had already played and won 3 games like this, and we were having lots of fun doing it. We came across a game started by TheBigBadBoss, and which already had one player, Orcus. We figured we sapper them and have a lot of fun, but that since we didn't recognize their names, they wouldn't be much of a challenge. Well, Shlonglor and StormShadow (oh, didn't I mention it already? Boss was StormShadow, Orcus was Shlonglor) evidently thought that they were up against a couple of newbies, too. Shlonglor admitted later that while he realized we would build lots of demo teams (I mean, look at our names), he expected us to be newbies and wasn't worried.

Anyway, we started up the game and TheBigBadBoss started sending messages (with caps lock on, which I took to mean that he was a REALLY new player), asking for advice. Well, I consider myself to be a nice guy, so I suggested that he make sure to have enough peons, and to expand early (the map was No Way Out Of This Maze). After I had just finished my first farm (the game was low resources), he sent another public message saying "I BUILT MY TOWN HALL". I really felt sorry for him at this point, and suggested that he make his messages private. Shlonglor reported having a good laugh at that one. Anyway, the game kept going for a bit, I was white, Boss was orange, Orcus was red, and azure was green. Shlonglor was calmly building up, assuming we were newbies, and not worried. He got a little worried when we beat him to flying machines.

Azure rushed 2 demo teams in and killed both barracks and shlonglor's only ogre. Both of us had about 3 inventors/alchemists at this point, and were madly producing sappers. In addition, I had expanded to my south. So I went and started attacking orange. He was fairly well defended against my sappers, with several trolls. I realized at this point that he wasn't quite the newbie he claimed, but I didn't think that much about it. So I sappered some stuff, then he sent in 8 grunts to hit my alchemists. He killed one, and 1 sapper before my 2 sappers took out 4 grunts each. I soon had 6 alchemists building, but only 4 built. I waited until I had 8 sappers, then snuck into the back of orange. I killed 12 farms with 6 sappers, plus a barracks and lumber mill with the other 2. The game started swinging heavily in our favor at that point. I kept pounding orange with groups of 6 sapper teams, killing all the towers he built and soon the expansion he had made. Azure was fighting Orcus, but Orcus had managed to hide himself in the northwest, guarded by walls covered with axethrowers, a nearly unbeatable defense against demo teams. Anyway, Azure eventually broke through the forest at Orcus's back and we took him out, killing his last peons with the demo team "attack button". They insisted that we must be using fake names, and asked to meet us in kchat.

I dropped out of kali and unregistered it and changed my nick to Sapper, real name to "We're Ready", email to demo@your.farms, and other to KABOOM. Unfortunately, since I was unregistered, nobody got to see my bad puns. Azure wasn't quite as smart, and left his kali registered, but did change his nickname, email, etc. Then we logged on, joined #alchemist, and started chatting with OrcusMaximus and TheBigBadBoss. They started trying to guess who we were, naming Muzzy and Vermeer as likely suspects. I asked if I could be Tou, but they wouldn't let me. Orcus and Boss were still using registered kali, and so I figured out that orcus was shlonglor. But it wasn't until we had about 10 iwl people on the channel, madly /whoising people to find out who we were that they did a /whois on marshall and noticed that the serial number, 3270, was awfully close to kaboom's 3269. Then they rememberd that 18.x.x.x as an ip means MIT, and figured out who we were. I was really disappointed that when they were naming good players, they didn't name us. Sigh.

--Alex (Marshall)

Well Storm was laying on the B.S. quite thick. He really wanted them to think we sucked. I did too. I started asking really stupid questions. I knew with the names Sapper and Kaboom that they were going to sappers us. But we thought they sucked so we were not too worried. I made my first Ogre about the time the flying machine came over my town. I go to storm, these guys are good, they already have flying machines. Just then 2 sappers run and wasted my 1 ogre and my barracks. Then more and more just kept coming in till my town was gone.

I flew over Kabooms (Azures) town and discovered that he had like 5 sapper buildings. I ran up to blacks spot on maze. I began building a lumber mill, hall, barracks. I started whipping out the Berzerkers. I upgraded them big time. Everything but Regeneration. I knew if we didn't take out those sapper buildings, we were dead. But we were already dead because they had like 6 towers guarding them.

I think Storm did a little better then I did but me, I got killed like a newbie. I was able to hold off the sappers for a while but eventually, Azure just sent in too many for me to stop. I went DOWN. I built two halls but they stood no chance. They took out 3 of my halls. Same with StormShadow. So we lost. I've never seen 9 sappers at a time run into a town.

I was left with some Berzerkers. What was really funny was that they used sappers to hunt down my peons. Instead of blowing them up, they used the attack button.

When I saw all those sapper buildings, I had a good idea that we were playing Muzzy and possibly Vermeer. Muzzy had told us he has done that to a few people. So I go to Sapper and Kaboom, "are you Muzzy and Vermeer?" The said no but I could tell they knew Muzzy and Vermeer. That is when I knew it was someone in the IWL and that they were playing us. They wouldn't tell us who they were in the game.

We head to Kchat and after a big pain in the ass, we finally figure out who they were. I got a list now of everyones Reg numbers :) Well I should have known it was Azure and Marshall. Those guys were talking about doing that stuff to other people just the other day. I'm glad i'm blessed with such a keen intellect and memory :)

Anyway, we got wasted. You know for once it would be cool to make up some names and not end up play IWL players, that are as good or better than us.

Well there is the story of me getting wasted, everyone happy?

----
Shlonglor

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