No we talk about me. I started off. I really didn't care about that game. So I decided to mess around. I first built a tower by my mine. A guard tower, which I walled in. Next I built a Cannon tower and totally surrounded it with Farms, Barracks and a Blacksmith. It was untouchable. So then I get up my shipyard. I was thinking, probably long after everyone else's. I made 2 Juggs. Then I see a transport pull up. Out popped 6 level 2 grunts. Let me tell you, I was never so happy to see that invasion. I'm typing "Yes, Jff~~ is invading me!" Why was I so happy? Because I had the guard tower and cannon tower walled in. Everytime I wall in some towers, no one ever invades me. The towers end up being useless. But not this time! YIPPPEEE! Jff~~ sent in the grunts. I'm laughing so hard. He then realizes that level 2 grunts are going to do crap against a walled in cannon tower and guard tower. So he ran back for the transport. I type "It seems Jff~~'s invasion of Shlongsville failed miserably." So I go on with my building. Then a transport pulls up. Jff~~'s again. He unloaded 5 grunts and a Catapult. I had not a single grunt at the time. I'm thinking, oh crap. So I sent my 2 Juggs around. Then for some reason, everyone hopped back in the transport except 1 grunt. Then, before the transport could move, my 2 juggs took a shot at the fully loaded transport and sank it! He lost about 4 grunts and a Catapult. Jff types "Damn Delay." I don't know what caused that but It sure saved me. That left one of his grunts on my island. I think I out leveled him. I made my first grunt and then went over and attacked his. I type "seems that grunt has nowhere to return." So I killed it.

I then made 2 ogres. I got a flying machine and saw Jff load a transport. I followed it to Blue's Spot. He unloaded 2 grunts and a peon I think. He then built a hall there. I was pissed at Jff's invasion so I built a transport. I had about 4 juggs and a Destroyer. I filled my transport with my 1st half dead grunt and 2 ogres. I went passed Orange's Island and saw Warp was attacking all Jff's stuff with some Juggs and crap. I went right through it all with my transport. I then invaded Blue's Island. I sent in the 2 Ogres and the 1/2 dead Grunt and killed Jff~~'s Grunts. I then got rid of the Hall. I also got rid of his peon. Just then Warp invades Blue's Island too. He killed my 2 or 3 guys. I turn to him and say, man I fought for this island, get your own. I sent my transport right through Warp's fleet. I then repaired it.

I made another Jugg and Destroyer. I had about 4 or so level 4 maybe Juggs and 2 Destroyer. I sent them in on Warp's fleet who was attacking Orange. I took it. He was surprised. Then I went in on Warps Shipyard. I think I killed some stuff. I loaded up a transport with some peons I think. I then went to Aqua's Island. I started to put a tower up there. About 4 people ratted me out. There was 3+ flying machines over the Island watching it. So then Jff~~ sends in a dragon. He kills the tower and my peons. So I sent my fleet back to protect my island. I got bloodlusted Ogres and made a few Berzerkers. I landed on Aqua's island again. I destroyed the buildings that Aqua, Searon~~ had made and began putting up my Town hall. During that time, I flew over Marshall's Island and noticed that he made a Gryphon invisible. I told everyone. hahaha "Guess what everyone? Marshall has an invisible Gryphon Coming!" hahah. So then Jff sends some Dragons over. I think he had 2. I bloodlusted the Berzerkers and got one. I got my hall up and started building there. But Jff kept harassing me. He placed the dragon in a place where it could hit my guys but I could not easily get to it. I finally moved my guy there when I started to hit it and he ran. Then Jff~~ types something like "well I'm outta here, enough harassing people." I said, "he is harassing me." But Jff didn't really leave. I think he sent his Dragon back to my island, and I either got it with some destroyers or a Berzerker. Then I think Marshall attacked me with a Gryphon. I either got it or it ran. So then it's Warp and me with the 2 islands. The only ones getting gold. Jff finally left. That left it me, Warp, Ricardo and Marshall.

So I set up my merry mining village on Aqua's Island. I had some farms and a Barracks. But then Someone kept Blizzarding me. I sent my ships over, I looked everywhere and could not see anything. I was pissed. I just then heard from warp that someone was blizzarding his stuff too. I say let's get these punks. He goes if you see a transport, get it. Now we were not allies but since we are roommates, warp and I like to talk to each other anyway.

Then some punk blizzard me again. I sent my flying machine looking. I see 3 mages. I send my Ogres after them but then they step into nothingness and disappear. They were black. I say "Ricardo, you jerk with the invisible Transports." There was nothing I could do against that. I could have attacked ground if I would have had my ships around.

Just then Warp gets invaded by Marshall. He was in a big fight. So I loaded up some Ogres and invaded Warp's main island. I unloaded them and went in bloodlusted. I took a bunch of crap. I got some Catapults and some guys, maybe even a Death Knight. Warp was busy with Marshall's invasion so he didn't even notice mine. About 3 minutes into the invasion, Warp turns to me and says, "wait you invaded me too." I go "Yep!, I couldn't pass up that opportunity while you were being invaded by Marshall. I started attacking Warps Ogre Mound. But, because I didn't watch my guys, the next time I looked over, my Ogres were killed.

I guess Marshall's invasion was everything he had. Warp fought it off. So I invaded Warp again on his main island. This time he had no defense. I took out lots of buildings. He kept Death and Decaying me. I finally caught the death knight. I then preceded to take out Warps island. I then invaded Warps town on Blue's Island. I took him out. But he invaded my island on aqua. He killed everything on it. But I didn't care because my mine was out on that island. So that left me, Marshall and Ricardo. I flew over Marshall and saw he had absolutely nothing. Not a single guy anywhere. So I was continuing to beat up Warps first town. Just then I see a few of my guys turn to seals. I guess that punk Ricardo Polymorphed them. So I look around and see nothing. Let me tell you that throughout the whole game, i'm typing "I hate you Ricardo." The punk kept blizzarding my island and running with his invisible Transport. He then polymorphed my Ogres. I was so pissed. I go "Ricardo, your ass is MINE!" "You are going DOWN." So with warp out of the way, I focused my attention to Ricardo. Warp decided to surrender.

Now the game had at least being going on for 2 hours now. I had been outta of gold for about 20 minutes maybe. I had 93 gold and a ton of lumber. No more mines left on the whole map! BUT, he had about 7 or so Mages. All with Polymorph, Slow, Blizzard, and Invisibility. He kept holy visioning me too. He had placed a Mage around all the Island. He had a peasant on all sides. He had an oil tanker doing circles around his island. He had some flying machines too. He could see anything that even came close. Perfect Recon! I kept sending in my ships and I got rid of some peasants and the oil tankers. But he kept Blizzarding my Ships. I kept getting away though, haha :)

Now before that, I think I killed 2 or 3 of Ricardo's transports. So I kept sending in Sappers. I lost a few because the idiot Sappers would walk right up to the knights and would just stand there. I had a few successful Sapper attacks. I then sent in a sapper. He just casted invisibility on it and it exploded! I was so pissed. So I send in a couple of Death Knights. I try coiling some guys but he just polymorphs my ass and heals the guys. So I unloaded about 3 Death Knights. They started Death and Decaying, but he just polymorphed them. I was pissed some more. So I send in the ogres. I tried Bloodlusting on the shore, but he just Blizzard them. So I tried to attack the Mages. But the Jerk casted Slow on my ogres and beat my guys in the back with Knights. He then killed every one of my guys. He then Healed everything. I sent in another transport but the same thing happened. I lost another transport full of guys with 0 damage to him. That made 2 transports of lost guys with 0 damage to Ricardo. Think of all that money I lost.

I was pissed so I decided to take it out on Marshall. Invaded him with a sapper and some ogres. But I made the wrong choice. I selected the sapper and 5 ogres and right clicked on one of Marshall's buildings. So guess what happens? The sapper runs in and explodes in the middle of my Ogres! Not only did the sapper destroy himself but he took 3 of my own Ogres with him. Marshall types "what happened, 3 of your Ogres died." I type "damned if I know." It was then That warp and Gotcha who where watching the game, informed me that if you right click with a sapper, he blows up on that spot. Now right click is attack for every other bloody unit. So I go to Gotcha and Warp, "thanks for telling me." (Sarcasticly). Now if you know Warp, he never tells me anything he finds out. It is only later when I fight out for myself about stuff, that he informs me that, "He already knows." I say then why didn't you tell me. To which I got the "you never asked." Screw ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, I finished off Marshall and eliminated him. The whole time I was beating on Marshall, he kept placing his flying machine over my Jugg. Then my Destroyer would take a shot at it but It would hit my jugg. I think Marshall got rid of a ship or two of mine that way. When I finally realized what he was doing, I got pissed. I sent my Destroyers over and got it. I type "Fuck You!" That flying machine really got me mad. I like Marshall though so I didn't really mean it. So I eliminated him.

Gotcha and Warp and I were really racking our brains to come up with a way to get Ricardo. They kept saying just agree to a stalemate. I said screw that i'm winning the game. So we came up with a plan. I took all my guys and placed them on Pokerto's Island, Purples. That was the closest place to Ricardo's Island (Black.) So first I pick out all the Ogres with full health. I pick 6 of them. I then bloodlusted them on Pokerto's Island. I put them in the transport and invaded. When I got out, only a few still had the bloodlust on them. Anyway I kill a bunch of knights and some mages. So that left a few Ogres that were all 1/2 dead on pokerto's island. I put them in one of my 2 transports. Gotcha and warp are telling me, just give up. Screw them, I said no way i'm winning this game. So I invaded with my Ogres. I got Ricardo down to about 1 knight and maybe 3 mages. He sank my Transport however. Then Guess what I had left?

I had ONE 1/2 dead ogre and 4 peons. Before I had sent all my peons but 4 to Aqua. When warp invaded it, he killed them all. I had to take on 1 knight and like 4 mages with one 1/2 dead ogre and 4 peons. Warp and Gotcha, as usual, were telling me there is no way to win. So I had my Ships all around the island as they had been for hours. Then I noticed that Ricardo had made the mistake of placing his Mages too near the Sea. So I sent in my Jugg and killed 2 Mages!!! He ran to the center of the island. Now if he would have stayed there, his stalemate would have been assured. But me made a mistake.....

I fly over Ricardo's Island and see all his guys are gone. Now i'm thinking he can't have another transport can he? But he did. He placed the knight and 2 mages in it. Then I sent all my ships out looking for it. I see it going back to his island. I "Lock and Load" with my Destroyers. (Now lock and load is what Gotcha, Warp and I say when we right click on a transport with our destroyers. That means there is no way the transport can escape, unless something saves it.) So it made it to Ricardo's island. Ricardo is typing "Unload, Unload!!!!!!!!!" The transport had just a sliver of life left. But before he could unload my destroyers take the transport. He types "SHIT!". I was like YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS. I was hoping everything was in it, all his guys. So I got my flying machines all over Ricardo's Island. I saw nobody there. So I invaded with my one 1/2 dead Ogre and 4 peons.

Ricardo is like ok, finish me off. You see, I like to finish people off with like peons and towers and stuff to make them feel bad. So Ricardo thought I was doing that to him. But I finally convinced him that was all I had left. Just one Ogre and 4 peons. I destroyed Ricardo's entire island with them. Even a castle. I kept bloodlusting the peons. So then I got rid of all the buildings. I'm then just praying for eliminated screen, BUT

It didn't come up. I'm like CRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPP. I then found out what Ricardo had done. He placed his mage and Knight that he had left in very middle of Jff's Island. There were a ton of Jff~~s guys there so Ricardo knew that If I attacked, they would all charge me. So I attacked Orange with my Ships. I got charged by Jff~~'s guys, (now remember, Jff had dropped hours ago.). I killed them. I then proceeded to blow away the buildings all around the knight and Mage.

So I was faced with the possibility of invading with my one Ogre and 4 peons. So I finally did it. I kept unloading a peon hoping, that Ricardo would chase it. But he is no dummy. He had those guys on Stand ground. So I unloaded. The second my Ogre hit the ground, the Jerk polymorphed him. DAMMMMMMMMMIIITTTTTT. So I ran in and killed the mage. I lost 2 peons in the process. So that left me with 2. I got rid of all the buildings around the knight, hoping he would attack the peons. I kept moving them really close but then moving them away. Finally I attacked, he killed them both. And Ricardo was left standing there with
ONE 1/2 Dead KNIGHT!!!!!! Hence the title of the story. I had no way to kill it. Nothing to invade with. 93 in gold left. So I was forced to declare a stalemate with him.

Can you believe that crap? I made it through that whole game. I kicked everyone's ass. I was the most dominant player and the game and I lose it because I can't kill one knight. So that left me with a wonderful feeling :).

For the rest of my life I'll be thinking, Only if. Only if my sapper would not have destroyed those 3 Ogres. Only if Warp had not killed all my peasants. Only if I would have done this. Man doesn't that SUCK?

Well I owned the sea. I had a bunch of juggs and destroyers. My island was untouched. I had all my buildings left. I had every enemy destroyed except 1 knight! Its that unfair or what?

Would you believe that this game went about 5 hours? We started at 1:00 a.m and quit at 5:45 a.m!!! The last 2-3 hours were me trying to attack Ricardo.

Take a look at the stats.

Notice all those kills and stats. I had double the gold and I can't take out Ricardo?

Also Take a look at pathetic little army. Check out their health bars and the map that I controlled.

Ok let me just say that Ricardo is my good friend. But he sure made me mad that game. I harbor no ill will toward him however. No one can control mages like Ricardo can, except maybe Gotcha.

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Shlonglor