Shlonglor's War 2 Stories
The Smurfs vs Spiderman(Zima), Red Barron, and Void(idiot)

Last Updated 3/8/96

Well, I finally played a game worth writing a story about. It was a five player game on Garden of War with medium resources. The players involved were Shlonglor (playing as PapaSmurf), Myself (playing as Smurfette), RedBaron, Void, and Spiderman (who we later discovered was the same person as Zima/Cpl_Will). Shlonglor and I were teammates as were RedBaron, Void, and Spiderman.

Once the game started, we found out that Void was a C&C player, and had very little war2 experience. In fact, he would not stop talking about C&C! Well, as he would soon discover, C&C experience does *not* help when playing war2!

The game started as any other game on Garden. As everyone knows, you need to get the grunts, and get them fast. Well, Shlonglor didn't get them quite fast enough (neither did I, but as it turned out, that didn't matter). About the time Shlong had two grunts, Spiderman/Zima attacked his town with five grunts. Needless to say, Shlong was in big trouble. He cried for help, but I only had two grunts as well. Things were not looking good. Shlong's town was gone. He escaped with two peons and one grunt and came up to my town. Unfortunately, he didn't have near enough resources to build another hall. He was effectively eliminated, and at this point it turned into a three on one! I was so dead!

At this time I decided to attack RedBaron. I don't remember how many grunts I had, but it wasn't enough. He had a cannon tower up, and I didn't do much more than kill a couple of peasants. After I got kicked out of RedBaron's town, I turned my full attention to Spiderman/Zima. Spiderman came in and attacked with a lot of grunts. I fought it off with my grunts, tower, and Shlonglor's only Grunt :) . Shlonglor then repaired the tower with one of his 2 peons. See that is why teammates should stick around. They can still help even with only 2 peons and a grunt! After that, the first order of business was to get the ogres and flying machines. I had a little help from Shlonglor here. He repaired my ogre mound and alchemist with his surviving peons and resources. Once I had nine grunts and a couple of ogres, I went in on Spiderman/Zima. Surprisingly, there was not much resistance. I killed off the forces he had in his town and was left with a couple of ogres and three or four grunts. I quickly went for his blacksmith, which I was able to destroy. Somewhere in here I also upgraded to Fortress and started working on bloodlust. Next, I think I tried for the ogre mound, but this is where RedBaron came to the rescue. He kicked me out of Spiderman's town with knights.

After being kicked out, I made sure I had bloodlust and mounted another assault. This time I was victorious, and I was able to take out Spiderman's town. I guess this crippled him, and he never got another town. Somewhere during the battle for his town, someone asked what Void was doing. It looked like Spiderman and RedBaron were not able to defend Spiderman's town, and they wanted Void to do something. I had left Void alone for a *long* time, and was a little worried about what he had.

A little while after the question about what Void was doing, he sent a small army to attack my second mine. My mine was undefended, and he killed my peons, but I sent in bloodlusted ogres. But Void ran! He took his pathetic little army, level 1 footman and a few Archers and ran away. Again, I left him alone and turned on RedBaron, who I saw as the bigger threat.

With a lot of work, and a lot of bloodlusted ogres, I attacked RedBaron. He had cannon towers defending the main entrance, but I don't think he realized that he had chopped through at the top of his town. I went in there, where there was *no* resistance. He had a pretty good defense, but knights are no match for bloodlusted ogres. I was able to take his town. Still, Void was nowhere to be seen. He didn't attack me at all.

RedBaron started another town while I decided to go in on Void. It turns out the Void had a pretty good force built up, including mages, but if you remember, Void was a C&C player. He didn't know how to control his guys. Actually, he was able to fend off my attack, so I got a death knight and decayed the peons at his undefended second town. Guess what happened then... He quit! Hahahaha! The sight of his peasants dying in a pile by his mine was just too much for him! Heheheh.

This is when I discovered RedBaron's other mine. There really wasn't much there, and from this point on it was a simple clean-up matter. I'll give RedBaron this: he sure didn't give up. He fought it out until the bitter end.

So there you have it. A three on two that turned into a three on one. When Shlong was killed I would have sworn there was no way I could win. Who would've ever thought I could pull it off?

Greg Boyko (Warpmaster)(Warp!)


First let me explain the Smurf thing. Warp and I enjoy making up names and playing people at war2. We make them think we really suck and then beat them up. But the joke was on me because Zima pulled my own trick on me. He played as Spiderman making me think he sucked. Beaten at my own game! So sad. Well we have lots of fun playing as smurfs. We talk in smurf. We smurf us some ass at war 2. I guess that is totally childish, but it sure is fun.

To understand what is so cool about this story you have to know who Zima/Cpl Will is. He is the Leader of the IWL (International War 2 League.) For a month or so, Cpl Will was playing as Zima, leader of the Twilight Hammer clan. Little did everyone In the IWL know that Zima=Cpl Will. Zima was actually the Leader of the IWL. We all know Zima is good, but we thought Cpl Will probably sucked at War 2. A week or so ago, Tou and Dragonlord Discovered that Zima was Cpl Will the leader of the IWL. After that Cpl Will has been forced to hide under made up names. But I Caught him the first time he did it. Cpl Will went on Kali as Waterworld. I did a /whois Waterworld and it told me that his Kali serial number is 1603. As everyone now knows 1603 is Zima's/Cpl Will's number. I told Zima that He would never catch me off guard. It seems I was wrong.

Here is what happened before this game. We were all in the #iwl channel in kchat. Then this guy named spiderman comes on. He was a real Jerk so I decided to teach him a lesson. I was in Kchat under the name PapaSmurf. Zima knew it was me Shlonglor, but I did not know it was him. Before I go on let me say that Zima is a really good War2 player. I beat him the first time 1 on 1. He beat me next time 1 on 1. So he is really good at war 2. Ok on with the story. We started the game. Zima knew who I was and headed straight for me with 5 grunts. If I knew It was Zima, I would have played better but I thought It was some newbies we where playing. So he screwed me over. I probably only got 1 kill at most. So I ran to Warp's town (Smurfette, haha) with only 2 peons and a grunt. That is all I had left. I had a lot of fun exploring the whole map with one of my 2 peons. I explored the whole map. I almost made it to Red Barron's town but then his knight spotted me! I ran for it. I cut left, I cut right. I gave the knight the slip! Well only because he never got to click on my peon and also probably because he never even saw it. But it was still scary for me. I checked some of the mines to make sure no one was at them.

So to cut it short Warp beat them all 3 on 1. That is just unheard of. What is so spectacular is not only was it 3 on 1, but one of the players was Zima, leader of the IWL and a really good player. So even with 2 allies, Zima could not beat Warp.

We go to kchat and Spiderman(Zima) asks to join my clan. I still did not know that it was Zima! He got me bad. haha. Well Zima types, hey "smart ass", did not catch me this time. Well Smart ass is what Zima always calls me because really I am one, haha. That is when I realized. He had been playing me the whole time. But then I realized the joke was on him. He beat me, but He could not beat Warp with 2 allies. He turned out looking like a bigger idiot then me. I got wasted by one person. He got taken out by one with 2 allies to help him. hahahhahahahahahahah.

Well we both looked like idiots. I got like 1 kill and was pretty much eliminated and he could not beat 1 person with 2 teammates. haha.

Man I am so proud of Warp. He pulled out a win for the smurfs. Even though I was taken out, I still had one peon left with the game ended so I won. hahaha.


Take a look at the stats. I was Papasmurf and Warp was Smurfette.

I guess I had 0 Kills. DOH!

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