Guide for Walking
Have I ever mentioned how much I hate the brazen stupidity of the average Japanese pedestrian? Well, let me tell you now: I hate the brazen stupidity of the average Japanese pedestrian. Whilst walking down the street, said average Japanese pedestrian will act as if he or she is wearing a big ol’ pair o’ horse-blinders. And they will weave all over the sidewalk like they’ve been whacked in the head, repeatedly. Let me detail a few of the classic “Japanese pedestrian” moves.
- The “Stop-‘n-Turn” – This one is a classic. I tend to walk behind people rather than take up more space on the sidewalk, so as to allow bicycles to pass me (see point 2). However, many times a Japanese person will stop dead in their tracks and instantly turn around, forcing me to do emergency evasive manuvers. In the meantime, the Japanese person (usually an old woman) will stand there like a deer staring in headlights.
- The “Friends Forever Formation” – This one is where you are riding on your bike, yet are unable to pass a group of pedestrians because they are all walking abreast down the sidewalk, effectively blocking everyone faster than them. This situation may even warrent the use of your bicycle bell, to inform the people on foot that they are all morons.
- The “Merge” – This amazing move is usually performed by people disembarking a bus, though not always. After getting off the bus, the pedestrian will walk in an exponential curve right across the sidewalk, without looking, thereby cutting off anyone behind them. I’ve narrowly missed clipping people when riding my bike at high speeds.
The key to not being an idiot on Japanese sidewalks is to look around. Make sure that whenever you exit a building or vehicle, you look both ways to make sure no bicycles or other pedestrians are headed on a collision course for your head. And obviously you should look before cutting across sections of the sidewalk. I always do a quick check over my shoulder before making any sudden turns, so I don’t get nailed by a bike.
And there you have it. The definitive guide on not being a menace in one small sector of Japanese society.
Comments
Laura wrote on :
The problem with combining pedestrians and bicycles on the same sidewalk is a universal dilemma. I encounter the "Friends Forever Formation" (ha) all the time and usually I just go off onto the grass to pass them (if that's an option). The hilarious thing is that oftentimes when I get close enough to the formation that they can hear me and think, "Oh, there's a bicycle behind us!", THEN they start to scatter off to the sides, which is directly where I was headed. You're just never going to get a satisfactory and safe place to ride your bike until the cities start making the streets or the sidewalks wider, with a clearly designated space for cyclists. As it is now, if you ride on the sidewalks (which sometimes you can't even do, i.e. downtown Lincoln), people get pissed that you're endangering pedestrians, and if you ride on the roads, motorists will often yell at you, "Get off the #$%&ing road!!!" Cyclists never get any love...
chalupa wrote on :
i think i'd probably get annoyed walking around over there
Matt M. wrote on :
Some fuckers pulled that same shit with me when I was over there. You know what happened to them? They're disintegrating, in a bathtub in a run-down Shinjuku apartment. You daren't interrupt my walking.