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Evil Japanese Machina

(Or, How I Almost Got Owned by a Vending Machine)

Today was my day off, in honor of some national holiday or other. Things were going pretty well: played FFX, read some One Piece, and in short, wasted a lot of time. Around 5 o’clock or so, I had a craving for some of that geek ambrosia, Mountain Dew. That stuff is more popular that I would have imagined: the vending machine outside my apartment is out of stock. Man, I have to walk a whole ‘nuther block to get my artificial caffeine fix!

I get to the machine that has some cans in stock, and that’s when my problems begin. I purchase the first can, then immediately purchase the second, without removing the first. No big deal, I’ve done this tons of times in the States. I look down, and realize that the second can has jammed the dispensing slot. A metal plate has distended, which blocks both cans, and has a message printed on it: something about calling the service representatives. My first instinct is to panic, because not only have I seemingly lost 240 yen (yeah, the Dew is pricey here), but I also don’t have my tasty beverages.

Calling upon my natural intuitive powers, I immediately try to force the cans out, which doesn’t work. I also feel a bit self-concious, because of course there are people nearby, watching me try to break this machine. In my struggle, however, I notice that I can push one of the cans upwards, back into the machine, thereby allowing the metal plate to move back into place. I proceed to do this, then collect my just reward.

Who could write so much about using a vending machine? Me, apparently.

By the way, here are some pictures:

I really should space these pictures out, so I can post one every day. But, I won’t.

Overcompensating. Real life, viewed through the lens of subjectivity, can be much funnier than fiction. This is a comic strip based on that viewpoint. It also doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, but I found it interesting anyway.

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